For anyone who hasn’t seen Mike Judges’s brilliant and scarily realistic film ‘Idiorcracy’, I’ll give you a quick summary. Corporal Joe Bauers gets frozen in time and wakes up 500 years in the future and discovers that the world has become incredibly stupid. The human race becomes devoid of any cultural value and instead wastes its time watching pointless TV programmes like ‘Ow my balls!’ Well watching the Brit Awards last night (February 21) felt to me what Joe Bauers must have felt when he saw people watching and enjoying ‘Ow my balls!’.
Presented by the criminally unfunny James Corden, the night showcased the best of music the industry forces people to listen to. Two awards went to the suicidally boring Adele, who made the highlight of the night by having her speech cut short by James Corden, who was jealous that someone else was garnering attention for 10 seconds. Another two awards went to equally as boring Ed Sheeran (who looks forever bemused by his own success) and further awards went to Rihanna, Bruno Mars and One Direction, proving that the Brits should really be re-named the Teen Choice awards.
Luckily the Brits gave away a couple of awards to artists who deserve recognition. Best International group went to the Foo Fighters, who didn’t even make the effort to attend the event. Instead only their drummer spoke on their behalf, showing that the band probably knew what a waste of electricity the awards had become.
Blur gained the Outstanding contribution to music award and closed the night on a brilliant performance including a hilarious performance of ‘Parklife’ featuring Phil Daniels. Although you can imagine the hordes of Rihanna and Bruno Mars fans complaining that the band was ‘emo’ or ‘too old’.
Now reading this blog post, you might think I’m an old man sitting in my armchair, waving my walking stick in the air, exclaiming that everything was better during WWII, but I just really dislike the Brits. Not even giving awards to brilliant British acts such as PJ Harvey, Elbow, Arctic Monkeys or Laura Marling is downright idiotic. Next year I would love to see the Brit awards be far braver and give awards to artists who deserve it, not the ones who have the biggest record sales. But maybe I’m thinking far too into it, maybe I should just ignore it and let people enjoy their episode of ‘Ow my balls!’….
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